Blog Block

This is the look Buddy gets when my son calls him "screensaver".  I kinda feel that way myself tonight.
It has been a rough and confusing day around here today.  It seems that with every passing day Lucy sinks deeper into the world of dementia.

Today she can not find her way around the house anymore.  She is also seeing people and things that are just not there.  I have to follow her whenever she gets up because she is so unsteady that her chance of falling is great.  She will also get into things and do inappropriate things if i don't keep an eye on her.  Today as she was starting to undress at about five o'clock, when I asked her what to she was doing she got very angry with me.  She is frustrated I am sure, but it is rough when she takes it out on me.

I am trying very hard not to get "caregiver burnout", but some days it is extremely difficult to maintain a positive attitude, especially on those days like today when she becomes hostile toward me.  The Chaplain from Hospice was by today and spent about half an hour talking with her.  She was very confused at the time, and so the Chaplain got to witness her as she saw people that weren't there and asked inappropriate questions.  It makes me feel a bit better when someone besides me sees this behavior.  I guess because I feel it is difficult for anyone to understand how bad things have become unless they experience it themselves.

I have been a Registered Nurse since 1973 and much of that time was spent with seniors, many of whom had dementia.  I have tried to help caregivers with their difficulties for so many years, but I don't really think I understood until now just how difficult being a full time caregiver can become.  Hour after hour sharing space with a person who is no longer in touch with reality, and that can be hostile at times is terribly difficult to say the least.  I have a whole new understanding of dementia now.

I am blessed to be able to afford night staff from midnight until eight am, which allows me to get uninterrupted sleep.  Before I hired them I was up every two to four hours every night.  It was an impossible situation. 

II have called in Hospice at this point.  They have been quite a help.  I say this to share the information on when to contact Hospice.  They no longer have the "6 month" rule.  They do take long term patients now.  The requirements are different for the different diseases, but Dementia is considered one of them and it is an acceptable diagnosis now for assistance.  If you find yourself in the "caregiver" position for a demented person, do not hesitate to contact Hospice to see if you qualify for assistance.  Don't find yourself in a "burnout" position before you attempt to get help.

Remember, in order to be a good caregiver you must also take care of yourself!

God Bless!

If You Don't Laugh, You Might Not Survive!

I am sitting here trying to "visualize" the most peaceful, beautiful place to escape to in my mind. Okaloosa Island and the emerald green water there are the most calming thing I can think of...glad I am heading back there for some respite in two weeks.

It has been a rough morning here. As I have explained previously, I care for a 95-year-old friend who moved in with me in July. In July she was "with it" and fully capable of managing her own dressing, bathing...well, you get the picture.

Well three falls and one broken hip later, she is quite demented, and I am about to join her! Have you ever had a child who was a "poop smearer?" Well I now have experienced a dementia related poop smearing experience for the second time in less than ten days! AAAAUUUGGGHHH!! I mean it's one thing to deal with it with a one year old in a crib, but altogether another to have poop smeared all over your entire bathroom (which happens by the way to be white!)...

Anyway I share this to say that after my initial meltdown and cleanup, and having a glass of White Zinfindel at ten am, I messaged my daughter about what was going on.
I knew she had been having trouble with her phone, so I wasn't sure she would actually get the message, but I needed to vent anyway!

Well, as it turns out she was at the AT&T store having someone look at her phone just as I was texting OMG OMG, poop smeared all over the place...I am having a glass of wine! Well, the guy looked at her and said "Uh, you're getting some messages."...and handed the telephone back to her. She nearly died when she read the messages!!! OMG for sure, here were the explicit messages about poop smearing!
She was mortified!!! She was laughing when she called me, thank goodness. She said she will probably never go back to the AT&T Store again though!

So, at least we got a good laugh out of the whole thing.

But, on a serious note, after the events of the morning I have contacted Hospice to see if they can be of any help in my ongoing dilemma. I don't want to put Lucy in a nursing home, but the dementia is growing more extreme with every passing day, and I truly don't know where we are headed otherwise. So, this afternoon Hospice will be coming by to "evaluate" her for me.

They seem to think at this point that they can probably help...I certainly hope so, because I am about at the end of my emotional rope. For any of you who are caregivers out there, I encourage you to seek help wherever and whenever you can get it. Things are definitely more available than they used to be in this area.

I am a retired Registered Nurse, and as such have had lots of experience with dealing with dementia, poop, etc. and yet, even for me it is a very difficult situation. You need to find time for yourself and a way to "let off steam" once in a while or you will end up sick yourself. I encourage you to do so.

And, whenever you can, remember to LAUGH at the things you can for it really is the best medicine!

Frost on The Pumpkin and Potato Soup

Well, here it is not quite Halloween, and there is not only frost on the pumpkin, but SNOW in some areas along the East Coast. It sure is early for that to be happening. I hope it is not a sign of a long, very cold winter to come.

I poked my head out this morning and it was only 49 degrees, so I didn't stay out there long. I want to plant some beautiful and colorful pansies in my strawberry pot this weekend. I will probably do it today if the weather warms up just a bit. I love to have their beautiful, joyful little faces all winter. It reminds me that Spring will come again along with the warmer weather I love so much.

AWWWW, I just looked outside and my sweetie is planting my pansies for me! Boy, is it cold and windy out there this morning...must be love to make him do that!

I am "chasing" Lucy all around the house this morning. Having this 95-year-old person that I can't trust any more than a two year old is getting interesting. I can't even go to the bathroom without wondering what she is in to. I went to put my clothes on this morning, and heard crashing in the kitchen...she had decided to "dry" the dishes. Thank God there were only two or three in the rack, and most of the crashing was silverware! I really can't accomplish much with worrying about what she will get into next. I have a whole new appreciation for all you caregivers out there! Not that I didn't know it was difficult; but I just didn't realize how very, very restrictive it can become. Dementia is a terrible thing, and there are numerous causes. So sad. All I can do at this point is try to keep her from hurting herself and try to make life as enjoyable as possible for her.

Well, Lucy has finally dozed off on the love seat, so it is probably my opportunity to make some beef stew. A great meal for a cold and windy day.

MAMA LINDA'S BEEF STEW

Ingredients

* 2 pounds stew beef (I often buy round steak, and cut it into 1/2 inch cubes
for this purpose...lots less fat and a little more tender than stew beef)
* 1 tablespoon vegetable oil
* 2 cups water
* 2 cloves garlic, peeled and chopped
* 1 bay leaf
* 1 large onion, chopped
* 1 teaspoon salt
* 1/2 teaspoon pepper
* Dash ground allspice or ground cloves
* 3 large carrots, sliced
* 3 ribs celery, chopped
* 3 large potatoes cut into 1/2 inch pieces (you can peel or not depending
on personal preference!)
* 2 tablespoons cornstarch

Directions

Brown meat in hot oil. Add water, garlic, bay leaf, onion, salt, sugar, pepper and allspice. Cover and simmer 1 1/2 hours. Remove bay leaf and garlic. Add carrots and celery and potatoes. Cover and cook 30 to 40 minutes longer. To thicken gravy, remove 2 cups hot liquid. Using a separate bowl, combine 1/4 cup water and cornstarch until smooth. Mix with a little hot liquid and return mixture to pot. Stir and cook until bubbly.
This is even better the second day!

Serve with hot biscuits and honey for a homey, warming meal!