Looking For The Balcony People

Beautiful photo isn't it?  Sometimes it is easy to look out across a beautiful view and inhale in all the positive "vibes" it provides.

Sometimes it is harder.  Many years ago when I was going through some really difficult times, Someone recommended a little book to me called,  "Balcony People" by Joyce Landorf Heatherly.  It was very enlightening and uplifting.  I still highly recommend it

We need to learn how to "disengage" from those people who are constantly pulling us down..down from the heights and into the basement.  "Balcony people" are the cheerleaders in your daily life.  They are the ones who are there, no matter what the circumstances, lifting us up and cheering us on and encouraging.

The recent suicide of Robins Williams hit me, and I am sure a lot of others, particularly hard.  It seemed he was a man who literally had "everything."  At least it seemed that way.  But all the time he was haunted by his own "demons."  He had money, fame, power and family.  He had an amazing way of bringing laughter and smiles to the whole world, and yet - inside where no one could see - he had great sorrow...unfathomable sorrow.  Why?  No one really knows.  Perhaps we are actually inhabited at times by "demons" - sneaky little devils who rob us of pleasure and joy.  No amount of pills or counseling seems to help some people.

But I think what distresses me even more, are those crappy (for lack of a better word) "Basement People" who are constantly trying to put others down and steal their joy.  What is it with some of these? Some are just bound and determined to inflict misery wherever they go.  Sometimes it is because they are absolutely miserable within their own skins and want the rest of the world to join them there.  In some cases, it seems these people actually enjoy trying to create "drama" and make others suffer from the wake!

Beware the Basement People! Run for your life!  Dump the "Negative Nellies" now!  Scratch them out of you address book and delete them from your Social Media.  Life is short people, and can be a joyous, tumultuous roller coaster ride.  There should be times of great joy and there will be times of great sorrow.    Look for those people who will accompany you on the ride! Looks for those who will stand by your side when time are fun and when times are rough.  No one needs someone else to drag them even lower when things are on the tough side.  No one needs this kind of "friend" or even "family."  Disengage from them...forget them and move on...family or not!  I truly do believe that unless you have experienced some sadness in your life, it will not be possible to experience the extreme joy that living can bring.  Sometimes it is through the tough times that we learn and grow the most.  Learn to embrace those times and move on.

If you are suffering from depression, then please please see a counselor or physician.  Sometimes there are true chemical causes for depression that can be ameliorated by medication.  But, sometimes it is just a matter of "refocusing" on life.  Sometimes it is a matter of getting rid of those "Basement People" and finding more "Balcony People."

Learn to look at life through the eyes of your "inner child" again.  Splash in the puddles on a rainy day (not when it is thundering however!), float around a pool, lake or ocean on a small inner tube,  look up at the clouds and see "people" and "animals."  Really take the time to look at the beauty around you.  Enjoy the laughter of babies and children.  Live, really live while you have the time!

PEACE, LOVE & JOY

The Gift of Today

Take time to smell the roses, or in this case, the Sunflowers!

There are millions of beautiful sunflowers here in Utah every Summer and they last into the first frost.

The views here are spectacular, and I am sure wherever you live there are some amazing views of nature, birds-flowers-seaside-mountains and more.

Each day to enjoy the beautiful offerings of Mother Nature are a Gift!  Life, even those lives who are fortunate enough to live past 60, is short! It goes so very quickly.  Don't miss an opportunity to take in every single beautiful offering around you.

Make sure that you live each day to the fullest, and be your best self.  Sometimes we think that focusing on self is "selfish."  I'm not talking about being selfish, however.  I am talking about learning to find what gives you joy! You can share that with others, but you also need to find a kind of peace within yourself about what makes you happy.

Some of us have children and grandchildren, and sharing their lives is an important part of our happiness.  But, our happiness is not really found completely in others.  We have to look inside ourselves and learn to have joy in just living another day.  For me, the outdoors here in Utah is a place of peace and comfort.  I see God in the dramatic mountain views and the massive amounts of local wildflowers!  I find peace in the solitude of sitting beside the River and listening to the sound of the water as it tumbles over the rocks.

Where is your joy?  Where is your peace? Where is your happiness?

Take a little time today to search for those things which make you happy and give you peace.  Enjoy life!  Each day is a GIFT - open it carefully and savor the contents!

PEACE LOVE AND JOY

Pressed Between The Pages of My Mind

That sweet faced fur baby on the right is Buster The Wonder Dog as he looked on his very last Christmas with me.  He was gone a month later, taken by cancer.  I had him for seventeen wonderful years. He was a rescue who was a total basket case for the first six months I owned him, even eating my wicker porch furniture.  But, with love and patience, he became one of the most amazing animals I have ever had.

Now, I have another sweet fur baby (whose name on adoption was Buster - really) but is now affectionately known as Buddy!  He is yet another sweet blessing I have been given.

This past couple weeks as I have been going through a time of loss, I have been reminded of many, many blessings and memories.  Friends from as long as fifty years ago have stepped up to lend kind words and support.  I have been truly blessed, and I must remember that!

There are all kinds of memories as we pass through this world.  Some are as sweet as honey dripping from a fresh comb, and others as bitter as charcoal.  I have chosen as much as possible to put those bitter ones in the past.  But, as I reflect, sometimes it is good to remember the bitter and the sweet.  We do learn the most through the hard times and if we forget those lessons we are doomed to repeat that negative history over and over again.  Sometimes those bitter memories allow us to empathize with others going through difficult times.

Honestly, I do believe that unless one has experienced great pain, it is difficult for them to appreciate great joy!  Fortunately, I can say I have had both in my life.  The difficulty comes in learning when to put away the negative and focus on the positive.  Grief is normal, and I am reminding myself of that right now, but it too will pass, and the sun and joy will appear on the other side.

Here are a two fun anecdotes/memories I would like to share -

The POOP Chair

When granddaughter Alivia was about two and a half, we were visiting Daytona Beach.  The girls were playing at the edge of the water and Mel and I were sitting in two small beach chairs watching.  Liv came running up and said she had to go potty...well, we ASSUMED she was talking about having to tinkle.  Remember what that word assume can do to you...we watched as she ran back down to the waters edge, pulled down her bathing suit bottom and began to POOP on the beach!  OMG! Two teenaged girls began pointing and screaming and Melanie tried to shrink into her beach chair.  "Oh Mom, please, please I'll give you anything to go pick that up!" she said, embarrassed by Alivia's display.  I was sitting in a backpack beach chair Melanie had recently bought which I found extremely comfortable.  I said, "Well, I will go pick it up if this chair is mine."  Melanie agreed and I went down with a paper cup and picked up and disposed of the poop!  From that day on the lovely green backpack beach chair became the "Poop Chair."  I still giggle every time I think about that.

Then there was the day we went to church as a family one Sunday Morning.  Melanie, who was probably about 15 at the time had gone out that morning and bought six bagels.  We didn't have time to eat any of them before we left, so I told her to push them to the back of the kitchen counter and she could have one when she got home.  She had bought them with her own money.  They were HERS!  Well, upon returning home from church I went to the bedroom to change.  When Melanie came in a few minutes behind me, she was furious! "Mom! Who ate all my bagels?" I replied that I hadn't even looked to see if the bagels were still on the counter when I came in.  I said, "I have no idea, honey, but it certainly wasn't me. Perhaps the dog got them."  "MOM!! the bag is still on the counter, but the bagels are gone! The DOG didn't eat them! One of you did!"  At that moment, my sweet Golden Retriever, Buster, went skulking out of the room only to return a moment later with a raisin bagel in his mouth.  He dropped it on her foot and left the room!  Never try to tell me a dog doesn't understand what is being said! That dog had carefully removed the bagels from the bag, leaving the bag on the countertop without a crumb behind.  Then he ate all but TWO of them.  Yep, I said Two.  The one he returned to Melanie (much to everyones shock and surprise, and one he had hidden under my bed for a snack!  God love him!

I have trusted God to be there for me since I was very young (six years old in fact) and He has never let me down.  In the past couple years I have reconnected with a dear childhood who actually walked the waters of Baptism with me when we were both children.  It has been a sweet reunion, and we have shared many pleasant memories.  What a wonderful blessing.

Childhood memories of building straw and stick forts in the woods, of climbing the apple trees across the street from our homes and camping in the back yard.  Sometimes those memories seem to have slipped away, and then suddenly, as if turning the yellowed pages on an ancient book there they are! They are there to be savored and enjoyed.

Have you ever been walking along and smelled something which took you back to a long forgotten memory.  It is said that "smell" is one of the strongest memory triggers.  Every time I smell candied almonds roasting at a fair I am taken back to my first time in Germany at Octoberfest!

Then there are songs.  Sometimes love songs but not always.  The song "Windy" was playing on air when my daughter Wendy was born!  I can't hear that song and not think of her.  "Could I Have This Dance For the Rest of My Life" was playing when I danced my first dance with my soul mate.  We got lost along the way due to unfortunate circumstances in both our lives, but now I hear "I Hope You Dance," and think of him and the sweet memories we made together.

My grandchildren remind me daily of what it was like to have children...the difficult times and the joyous ones!  I will remember some of the precious things they said and did until I die.  You really never do know what will come "out of the mouth of babes."  Recently, my youngest grandchild a sweet little Liv, was dressing with me one morning and said - "Granma why does you body have so many wrinkles?"  I said, "sweetie, Granma is old and once I was fat, so it's wrinkles or fat!"  She contemplated that for a moment and said, "I think I like the fat better!"  Brutal, but honest, she liked sinking into Granma's shoulder when it was softer!

Next year will be the 50th Anniversary of my High School graduation.  Oh My Gosh!  Fifty Years!
I am going to make a serious effort to return to Maryland for that celebration.  It will be fun sharing memories with people I haven't seen in that many years.

There are vacations, births of children, marriage, death, accidents and oh so many other occasions locked between the pages of my mind....and yours.  Today, on this beautiful Sunday, take the time to flip through a few of those pages.  Some may make you cry, some will make you laugh out loud, and some will just make you remember what a blessing it is to wake up with the ability to still remember!

PEACE, LOVE & JOY

Linda

Love and Marriage

What is love? Why marriage? What is a Soul Mate?  Hmmmmm.

I've been doing a lot of deep thinking and pondering about these things lately.  You see, I have had two long marriages the first to my High School Sweetheart.  I met him in my Tenth Grade World History class when I was a tender 15 year old.  I was probably one of the most naive girls in school, and when the teacher sat this young guy by me it was probably because I was quiet and studious and she thought I would be a good influence.  As it turned out, I was.  He had dropped out of high school and had just come back.  He was two years older than me.  Funny thing is, he wasn't particularly attractive at the time...kind of a gangly pimply faced guy who seemed shy at first.

Well, as I said, I met him in World History and he was struggling with some of his subjects.  It wasn't long before he asked me if I could help him with some of his "homework."  One thing led to another and just after my sixteenth birthday we had our first date.  Of all things my MOTHER suggested we go to the Drive-In! I was horrified.  This was my first real date and I was a "Church girl"...the thought of going to a drive in with a boy, any boy was just plain scary.  The funny thing is, I was so scared that I spent the whole evening polishing the door handle of his 57 Chevy convertible!  Aaaauuuggh.  I don't know if he ever realized how scared I was, but he did ask me out again.  We dated through the rest of High School.   I went to work for the FBI in June and we got married July 24th!  I loved him with all my heart and though it would last forever.

Fast Forward! It didn't.  Several years ( and four kids later) into the marriage, and after building a business with him, I found that he wanted an "open marriage" and had been cheating for years! I was devastated.  All I had ever wanted was to love and be loved.  This wasn't at all what I had planned.  The divorce was messy, and because of my naive self, I ended up having to start over from less than square one with four children!  aauuugghhhh.

I have asked several people lately about whether or not they had met/married their "soul mate."  The responses were interesting.  Some people really haven't a clue what that is.  Some have met, and lost as I did.  Some did marry their soul mates and are still happy.  Some are happily married for many years, know that someone else was their soul mate and yet have succeeded with a marriage with love and sharing without the intensity of the soul mate experience.  Hmmmm...so what exactly is a soul mate?

The Urban Dictionary defines it this way:

A person with whom you have an immediate connection the moment you meet -- a connection so strong that you are drawn to them in a way you have never experienced before. As this connection develops over time, you experience a love so deep, strong and complex, that you begin to doubt that you have ever truly loved anyone prior. Your soulmate understands and connects with you in every way and on every level, which brings a sense of peace, calmness and happiness when you are around them. And when you are not around them, you are all that much more aware of the harshness of life, and how bonding with another person in this way is the most significant and satisfying thing you will experience in your lifetime. You are also all that much aware of the beauty in life, because you have been given a great gift and will always be thankful.

Sounds about right to me!

I had gone to nursing school after my first two children were born, so at least I had that to fall back on.  However, working as a single parent RN proved difficult at times, and I found that taking jobs that were a little less restrictive and flexible, and usually paid more, was going to be part of the program.

I stayed in Church and always knew that no matter what God was in control and I would come out all right.  There were times when I thought I would never be able to meet all my obligations, provide for the children and have a good life.  Somehow, some way, something always came along.

After my divorce, I had a lovely room mate move in with me to help with household expenses.  She was quite a bit younger than I and encouraged me to get out and start meeting people.  My first excursion into the "dating world" of which I had NEVER been a part was a dance (I wasn't even sure I knew how to dance) at Parents Without Partners.  I was a nervous wreck.  But, amazingly, everyone was so sweet and I danced all night! I felt like Cinderella at the Ball! OMG

After three months at PWP one night a tall, handsome man approached me from across the room. I had never seen him there before and he asked me to dance.  I will always remember how he looked that night....White hair and beard, extremely well groomed, a gray sport jacket and white turtle neck.  As we danced he explained he was a hairdresser.  He didn't look like I supposed a hairdresser would look! In fact, he looked strikingly like Kenny Rogers.

We danced all night and he invited me to Shoneys for coffee after.  I didn't get home until three AM!  The attraction was immediate and strong for both of us, and within two weeks he told me he loved me!  It is a long story after that.  We had a tremendous amount of fun together.  We sailed, we danced and he was so good with my kids.  He even offered to adopt all four!  Amazing.  However, we hit a wall on moral/religious values.  I have always been a person with very strong faith, and belief system.  We couldn't seem to work out all the differences.  I will always know he was my "soul mate" and I still miss him at times.  I hope that he is happy.  Whenever I hear one of two songs, I am taken back to 1982 and the love we shared.  The first is "Could I Have This Dance For The Rest Of My Life" (that was the first dance we shared together) and "I Hope You Dance."  He will always have a piece of my heart.

I didn't marry again until 1992, when a man in my Sunday School class asked me to be his wife.
I accepted, in spite of the fact that I didn't feel the "soul mate" kind of connection.  We shared church, healthy living and activities...I thought it would work.  Now, I am facing another divorce after 22 years of marriage.  Crazy, but the marriage has always been troubled, and in the last few years he has declared there is no God, drinks excessively and curses like a sailor.  I thought I could live with it, but I can't.  So here I am at 67-years-old facing yet another divorce.  At least it seems amicable so far.

So as I face the future, I wonder whether there could be love in the future.  I wonder what makes some marriages, happy ones, even though they are not "soul mates" work.  What about you?
Have you met your soul mate? Would you know it if you did? If you married someone else, are you happy? Do you wish you could go back and have a "do-over?"

Let me have some comments from some of you.  I would really like to delve into what makes a good marriage and whether meeting your soul mate but marrying someone else has made you miss something?

There is so much more I could say, but I really want to hear from you out there, but for now I wish you...

PEACE, LOVE AND JOY

Linda

COME THY FOUNT

Okaloosa - Gulf of Mexico

It's hard to believe these two pictures are of the same body of water, only hours apart isn't it?

But this devastating beauty is all provided by a Creator who has a much larger view of the World than we do.

Last night I was privileged to go to a concert in Ogden.  Titled Accapellastock, it featured four groups of vocal bands.

While we were awaiting the beginning of the concert, music from those groups and others was playing over the loudspeakers.

One of the songs which floated through the night was "Come Thy Fount."

This song, penned by Pastor and Hymnist Robert Robinson, at the tender age of 22, in the year 1757 immediately grabbed my attention and brought me to my metaphorical knees as I pondered the beauty around me.  The Okaloosagirl is now living in Ogden, Utah where there is yet another type of beauty evidenced all around me.

This is a view of the Grand Tetons and the Snake River.  Amazing isn't it?

I would never have believed that I could love the mountains as much (well, almost as much) as the Sea.

As I listened to the words of the song presented only in melodic/harmonious voices, I was reminded of what an amazing Creator provided all of this beauty for us to enjoy.  I am also reminded that we are to CARE for it.  I hope to be a better steward of this lovely world than I have in the past.  I hope that we all take note of what has been provided for our pleasure and learn to find ways to preserve it.

The lovely song also made me ponder what those who are agnostic or atheistic use as a "moral compass."  Oh believe me, I am NOT a part of those who call themselves the "moral majority."  I have been blessed with the opportunity to travel more than most, and have learned much about other peoples and belief systems.  I am much less judgmental than I was at age 30...my eyes are open much wider.  But, on the other hand, if you don't believe in some kind of Creator and Hereafter, then what is your motivation to preserve beauty and order?

I guess I am presenting a bit more serious point of view this morning, but I would like this forum to not only be entertaining, but eye-opening and thought provoking.  You don't have to agree, just open your hearts and minds to the possibilities.

Here are the words to the song..Come Thy Fount...

I hope they touch your heart as they did mine last night.

1.Come, thou Fount of every blessing,   tune my heart to sing thy grace;   streams of mercy, never ceasing,   call for songs of loudest praise.   Teach me some melodious sonnet,   sung by flaming tongues above.   Praise the mount! I'm fixed upon it,   mount of thy redeeming love. 

   

 2. Here I raise mine Ebenezer;   hither by thy help I'm come;   and I hope, by thy good pleasure,   safely to arrive at home.   Jesus sought me when a stranger,   wandering from the fold of God;   he, to rescue me from danger,   interposed his precious blood. 

    

3. O to grace how great a debtor   daily I'm constrained to be!   Let thy goodness, like a fetter,   bind my wandering heart to thee.   Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,   prone to leave the God I love;   here's my heart, O take and seal it,   seal it for thy courts above. 

PEACE - LOVE & JOY,

Linda