Sunday, August 14, 2011

Don't Drop Your Drawers!

Okay, don't get your dander up, I have a "clean" site.

I am continuing to lose weight on the 17 Day Diet! Yay! 35 pounds have now disappeared into the netherworld. I was lamenting the one thing that is bad about a diet the other day (my clothes are falling off!) when my 95-year-old friend related this story which I am about to share with you.

When Lucy as a young woman during the War, elastic was scarce and therefore ladies underwear was frequently made with a string which ran through a channel at the top of the garment. One day she and a girlfriend had been shopping. They took the bus home after their shopping trip. As she was stepping off the bus, my friend heard and subsequently felt, a "pop" as her underwear string broke. She immediately realized what had happened and took one hand off her packages to modestly hold up here underwear.

The girls then continued to walk the two blocks home. Thank goodness the walk was short, and Lucy managed to get home without "dropping her drawers." But the story doesn't end here. Once she was safely inside the house (or so she thought) Lucy let go of the drawers and down they came. Unfortunately, Lucy had forgotten that it was dinner time and several of her Mother's boarders were sitting at the dining room table in full view of the front door! Needless to say, there were a lot of red faces in the room that day.

I had a similar experience one time when I had lost about 50 pounds. I had put on a half slip that morning before going to church. I didn't really realize how loose that slip was until I was walking out of Church that morning and it fell to my feet. I carefully stepped out of it, hoping no one would notice, picked it up off the ground and stuffed it in my purse and kept walking! I don't wear half slips anymore.

I only remember one other time that life presented me with such an embarrassing moment. I had a meeting one afternoon with the new Singles Minister at our Church to discuss plans for a Single Sunday School Class. I had to take my children to a friend to babysit that afternoon, and so I dressed rather hurriedly. I grabbed a pair of black slacks from the dryer without really inspecting them closely.

I arrived on time at the Church office, and after introductions, I sat across the desk from the Minister and began to discuss our plans. I am a very hyper person, and so it is unusual for me to sit completely still. I was, as usual sitting with my legs crossed, and swinging my foot back and forth when I noticed an unwanted sight. A nylon stocking was hanging out from the bottom of my slacks! What to do? Well, I knew the Minister could see it as well as I could, and I blushed and laughed, and proceeded to explain how I had left the house in such a hurry. If you have ever watched one of those clowns pulling a string of handkerchiefs out of a pocket, you can imagine just how long it took to pull those pantyhose out of my slacks! Believe me, I will NEVER put on a pair of slacks again without checking to see what is inside the legs!

So ladies and gents, I am warning careful. Check your pants, and don't drop your drawers!

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