Thursday, January 19, 2012


One of the most important lessons in life, and frequently one of the most difficult to learn, is what constitutes a REAL friend.

My little granddaughter is struggling with that right now.  She has recently transferred into a new school where she is not acquainted with any of the girls.  Unfortunately, she is having trouble finding one who could be a real friend for her.  When we ask her why she very honestly answers, that most of them are "mean."  She confesses that they gossip and talk about others and she really doesn't like any of that.

Ash is a very tender child, and yet very mature in her thinking.  She knows that real friendship involves people of like values and doesn't involve gossip and mean spirited teasing of others.  I am proud of her for that.

It is interesting that a lot of adults haven't learned that lesson yet.  Do you have a least ONE real friend? One person who you would trust with your most intimate feelings, even with your life?  Many people never do have someone like that.  So many have superficial "friendships."  Oh, I am not saying those kinds of relationships are entirely useless, but everyone needs to find a real friend, and learn how to be a real friend.

I have been abundantly blessed throughout my life with people who are good, kind and spiritually connected.  They have had a sense of values and sincere hearts.  But, in order to have good friends, you must also BE a good friend.  Sometimes that is difficult.  You have to be willing to listen when it isn't always convenient or comfortable for you.   You have to be willing to listen and not judge...sometimes a difficult task.  You have to be willing to give advice ONLY if ASKED!  Being there for someone else isn't always easy.  Are you willing to give more than you receive? 

Being a good friend is kind of like being a good marriage partner.  You have to be willing to give 100% not just 50 or 75.  Sometimes our friends move on and although we are miles and miles apart, we still feel that strong connection.  Sometimes they live right next door or across town.  Once you have shared a special friendship with someone, it never dies. 

Choose carefully when you are forming friendships for giving your heart so completely can be very dangerous if given to the wrong person.  Take your time...there is no rush.  All good relationships take time.   But, do reach out.  Don't fail to form these close ties in your life, they are essential for growth and maturity.  Teach your children to choose wisely also.  They will be watching you.

Tomorrow I am meeting a friend I have known for over twenty years.  We have shared good and bad times, tears and laughter, and will share more over the next five days as we cruise the seas.  I am so excited to spend time with my friend.  I am excited to share what has happened in her life in the past months, and I will share mine with her.  We will cry together and laugh together and grow even closer. 

I wish for you this kind of friendship.  If you have a friend, call them now.  Tell them you love them.  Arrange to talk with them frequently and spend time when you can.  Let them know you will ALWAYS BE THERE.  Thank God for friends.

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