Blog Block

This is the look Buddy gets when my son calls him "screensaver".  I kinda feel that way myself tonight.
It has been a rough and confusing day around here today.  It seems that with every passing day Lucy sinks deeper into the world of dementia.

Today she can not find her way around the house anymore.  She is also seeing people and things that are just not there.  I have to follow her whenever she gets up because she is so unsteady that her chance of falling is great.  She will also get into things and do inappropriate things if i don't keep an eye on her.  Today as she was starting to undress at about five o'clock, when I asked her what to she was doing she got very angry with me.  She is frustrated I am sure, but it is rough when she takes it out on me.

I am trying very hard not to get "caregiver burnout", but some days it is extremely difficult to maintain a positive attitude, especially on those days like today when she becomes hostile toward me.  The Chaplain from Hospice was by today and spent about half an hour talking with her.  She was very confused at the time, and so the Chaplain got to witness her as she saw people that weren't there and asked inappropriate questions.  It makes me feel a bit better when someone besides me sees this behavior.  I guess because I feel it is difficult for anyone to understand how bad things have become unless they experience it themselves.

I have been a Registered Nurse since 1973 and much of that time was spent with seniors, many of whom had dementia.  I have tried to help caregivers with their difficulties for so many years, but I don't really think I understood until now just how difficult being a full time caregiver can become.  Hour after hour sharing space with a person who is no longer in touch with reality, and that can be hostile at times is terribly difficult to say the least.  I have a whole new understanding of dementia now.

I am blessed to be able to afford night staff from midnight until eight am, which allows me to get uninterrupted sleep.  Before I hired them I was up every two to four hours every night.  It was an impossible situation. 

II have called in Hospice at this point.  They have been quite a help.  I say this to share the information on when to contact Hospice.  They no longer have the "6 month" rule.  They do take long term patients now.  The requirements are different for the different diseases, but Dementia is considered one of them and it is an acceptable diagnosis now for assistance.  If you find yourself in the "caregiver" position for a demented person, do not hesitate to contact Hospice to see if you qualify for assistance.  Don't find yourself in a "burnout" position before you attempt to get help.

Remember, in order to be a good caregiver you must also take care of yourself!

God Bless!

If You Don't Laugh, You Might Not Survive!

I am sitting here trying to "visualize" the most peaceful, beautiful place to escape to in my mind. Okaloosa Island and the emerald green water there are the most calming thing I can think of...glad I am heading back there for some respite in two weeks.

It has been a rough morning here. As I have explained previously, I care for a 95-year-old friend who moved in with me in July. In July she was "with it" and fully capable of managing her own dressing, bathing...well, you get the picture.

Well three falls and one broken hip later, she is quite demented, and I am about to join her! Have you ever had a child who was a "poop smearer?" Well I now have experienced a dementia related poop smearing experience for the second time in less than ten days! AAAAUUUGGGHHH!! I mean it's one thing to deal with it with a one year old in a crib, but altogether another to have poop smeared all over your entire bathroom (which happens by the way to be white!)...

Anyway I share this to say that after my initial meltdown and cleanup, and having a glass of White Zinfindel at ten am, I messaged my daughter about what was going on.
I knew she had been having trouble with her phone, so I wasn't sure she would actually get the message, but I needed to vent anyway!

Well, as it turns out she was at the AT&T store having someone look at her phone just as I was texting OMG OMG, poop smeared all over the place...I am having a glass of wine! Well, the guy looked at her and said "Uh, you're getting some messages."...and handed the telephone back to her. She nearly died when she read the messages!!! OMG for sure, here were the explicit messages about poop smearing!
She was mortified!!! She was laughing when she called me, thank goodness. She said she will probably never go back to the AT&T Store again though!

So, at least we got a good laugh out of the whole thing.

But, on a serious note, after the events of the morning I have contacted Hospice to see if they can be of any help in my ongoing dilemma. I don't want to put Lucy in a nursing home, but the dementia is growing more extreme with every passing day, and I truly don't know where we are headed otherwise. So, this afternoon Hospice will be coming by to "evaluate" her for me.

They seem to think at this point that they can probably help...I certainly hope so, because I am about at the end of my emotional rope. For any of you who are caregivers out there, I encourage you to seek help wherever and whenever you can get it. Things are definitely more available than they used to be in this area.

I am a retired Registered Nurse, and as such have had lots of experience with dealing with dementia, poop, etc. and yet, even for me it is a very difficult situation. You need to find time for yourself and a way to "let off steam" once in a while or you will end up sick yourself. I encourage you to do so.

And, whenever you can, remember to LAUGH at the things you can for it really is the best medicine!

Contrary To Popular Belief, I Am NOT Wonder Woman; lighter Chili Corn Chip Pie

This is one of my favorite pictures of my granddaughter and I. We were about to board a cruise ship, and that is always an exciting time for me.

I needed to look at this picture to lift my spirits a bit this morning. I definitely had a rough night last night. Lucy was tired and wanted to go to bed at 8:00 PM. I tried to discourage that, because I could foresee the night to come. I wasn't wrong.

I gave Lucy a pain pill and put her to bed at 8. I went to bed at 9. At Midnight came the first call. She wanted to get up to go to the bathroom. After putting her back to bed I crawled back into my own bed and lay awake until 2 AM.

At 3:30 came the second call. "I need to go to the bathroom." Before putting her back to bed she said, "I want a peanut butter cracker and some Coca Cola." Oh my, so I go get the peanut butter cracker and the Coca Cola and stand there as she eats.
I got back into bed at 4:45, knowing full well it would take me another hour to two hours to go back to sleep again, and since she had to have a Coke, I knew it would just be a matter of time before I was up to take her to the toilet again....and the Physical Therapist was coming at 9. It was 6 before I went to sleep. My phone rang at 8...the physical therapist was calling to tell me she would be here at 9.

The beep came and I was already on my way down the hall so she could have breakfast before therapy. I am completely exhausted. This is worse than having a newborn, and contrary to popular belief, I am NOT Wonder Woman. A tag recently applied by one of the local fireman after he saw me for the umpteenth time helping to load another neighbor into an ambulance.

I am trying to be patient. I had a talk with my sweet husband about my exhaustion and some possible solutions. I finally told Lucy this morning that going to bed at 8 isn't going to work. I also said that if she is actually having to urinate more than once a night something needs to change. I actually got her to admit that she really did not have to pee until after she thought about it after waking...no urgency.

I am not sure where we are headed with this. I may have to hire someone to come and spend nights to assist if I can't get a better routine going. All the stress has caused me to have a gout flare, which is extremely painful, and walking is definitely not fun! I can't even stand the weight of the blanket on my foot. I called my own physician this morning for a prescription for gout, although I have never taken anything for the condition before. I have always controlled it with diet, exercise, water and cherry juice. Not this time. Too much stress and gout don't mix.

So, as I deal with my new care giving situation, and feel my way through these long, long nights, I pray that it won't last for long...and one thing for sure, I am NOT Wonder Woman. I am looking forward to Okaloosa Island for Thanksgiving, I just have to survive until then!

HEALTHIER RECIPE OF THE DAY

Lightened Up, Chili-Corn Chip Pie

Cooking Spray
1 pound ground sirloin
1 1/4 cups chopped onion
6 garlic cloves, minced
1/2 teaspoon ground cumin
1/2 teaspoon ground red pepper
1/8 teaspoon kosher salt
1 tablespoon no-salt-added tomato paste
1 cup fat-free lower sodium beef broth
1/3 cup water
1 (10 ounce) can diced tomatoes and green chiles, undrained
4 ounces lightly salted corn chips (such as Fritos)
1/3 cup (1 1/2 ounces) shredded sharp cheddar cheese
1/4 cup fat free sour cream
1/2 cup diagonally sliced green onion tops

1. Heat a large skillet over medium-high heat. Coat pan with cooking spray. Add beef to pan; saute 5 minutes, stirring to crumble. Remove beef; drain. Wipe pan clean with paper towels. Add onion to pan; saute 4 minutes , stirring occasionally. Add garlic saute 1 minute, stirring constantly. Stir in beef, cumin, pepper and salt.

2. Stir in tomato paste; cook 1 minute, stirring occasionally. Add broth, 1/3 cup water, and tomatoes; bring to a boil. Reduce heat to medium, and simmer 15 minutes or until slightly thick, stirring occasionally. Remove from heat.

3. Place 1 ounce chips in each of 4 bowls, and top each serving with about 2/3 cup beef mixture, 2 tablespoons cheese, and 1 tablespoon sour cream.

Sprinkle each serving with 2 tablespoons green onions.

Calories 414, Fat 219g, Protein 24.5, Carb 29.2, Fiber 3.2g, Chol 68 mg, Iron 2.6 mg, Sodium 682 mg, calcium 160 mg.

EAT UP!

Up All Night AND Potato Soup

It is going to be a long day. There is a new television show with the title "UP ALL NIGHT". I will probably never watch it as I haven't been impressed with the trailers. It is about a couple with a baby who aren't getting sleep because of the baby being up.

I have a whole different problem. My little charge who broke her hip, came home yesterday from Rehab. So my workload around here has increased considerably. I am virtually a round the clock nurse. That would be fine if I could get some sleep somewhere in there.

Last evening I got Lucy ready for bed at 9 PM. I have a talking clock next to her bed which I can hear if she presses the button. I have frequently regretted buying this thing in the past, because if she wakes up during the night she hits and button and wakes me....aaaauuugghh. But, now we are using it like a "call button" which she can push to get me to her room.

As I said, I put her to bed at 9; and at 1 AM there was the first hit on the button. I got up and took her to the toilet, and returned to bed. I am one of those people who once awakened it takes me a while, usually about 45 minutes to get back to sleep. So a little before 2 AM I dozed back off. At 3:30 AM came the second hit on the button. I dragged my sleepy butt out of bed and gave her a requested Tylenol for discomfort. This time it took me until almost 5 AM to get back to sleep.

Now, I have raised four children, and had many, many sleepless nights. Most of my babies let me sleep through the night by the time they were just a month old. I only had one who was up every 4 hours...and believe me that was easier than last night.

For some reason the road traffic near my home got particularly noisy at about 6AM this morning...racing motorcycle engines, loud mufflers. I am sure you get the picture, I didn't get much sleep before the third hit occurred at about 7:30 AM.
Time to get up and get busy.

I am a bit of a space cadet right now after dressing, feeding, medicating and exercising my friend. Then I prepared lunch...special request from Lucy today was for Potato Soup. I had already prepared to make Chili, so guess what? We have both!

I have an appointment at 12:30 to see a GEICO representative about the repairs to my car necessitated by the hit and run accident which occurred last Friday. At 2:30 PM the Admissions Nurse from Amedisys will be here to draw blood and assess for home Physical Therapy.

I am trying to figure out how I can get a nap in before dinner time, but I don't think it is going to happen. Sleep deprivation is not my friend. It causes stress which causes gout flares (the current bane of my existence)..my right foot is extremely sore on the outside right. Of course, my right eye is still blurry from the recent surgery, and yikes! I must laugh about all this, or believe me I would cry.

Being a caregiver is difficult work, and many of us who are "baby boomers" are caring for our elderly parents. You need to find time for your self and taking care of your own needs in this process. Sometimes that could be just having a neighbor or friend come in so you could go to a movie or lunch or even just grocery shopping. Sometimes it could be a hired professional caregiver to give you a break so that you and your husband can have a "date." Take care of your "patient", but don't forget that in order to be a good caregiver, you must also take care of yourself.


But in all my complaining about my own stress right now, I am also extremely sympathetic and concerned about a neighbor who is at the hospital with a very debilitated husband who has just been given another difficult diagnosis to deal with. So, like I always say, when you start feeling sorry for yourself you just need to look a little ways to find someone with bigger problems.

So if you have any funny jokes or stories, how about sharing them with me right now?
I could use a few giggles and I will gladly share them in future blogs.

EASY POTATO SOUP RECIPE

Six to eight large potatoes peeled and cut into small cubes
Six ounces of finely cubed ham or canadian bacon
3 large stalks celery finely chopped
1 large onion, finely chopped
48 ounces chicken broth (I use Swanson's)
12 ounces whole milk or half n half
Salt and Black Pepper to taste

In large soup pot, saute onions and celery until translucent, add ham, potatoes, and chicken broth and cook until potatoes are tender.

Depending on whether you like a smooth, creamy soup or a more lumpy soup...you can either puree the potatoes or you may leave them in cube form.

Add cream or milk and heat until hot, but do not boil.

Easy, wholesome and healthy.

Serve with a piece of cornbread and a salad for a perfect Autumn Meal!