Reflections on a Life Lived

As I approach my 70th birthday next week, I have spent some time contemplating the last seven decades of my life.  I have, like most of you, had good times, bad times, sad times, scary times and amazing times.

My childhood was one spent in a very small country town, but somehow inside I always knew I would reach out into this huge and interesting world of ours.  Graduating from High School, my first job began on June 4, 1965 at the FBI!  What a baptism by fire for a small town girl.  I married a month out of high school to a man I thought would be my lifetime partner.  Unfortunately, it didn't quite work out that way.  That marriage however, produced four beautiful children, and tons of life experiences!  I was blessed with all the ups and downs being a parent brings.

I was able to have my first European experience in the 70's when I traveled to Paris, London and Munich!  I will never forget standing under the Eiffel Tower with tears running down thinking how amazing it was and realizing that I had never really thought I would actually see it in person.  What a mind expanding trip that was.

I went back to college at Salisbury State University/Peninsula General Hospital School of Nursing after my first two children were born and graduated as a Registered Nurse in 1973! It was the culmination of a dream.  Oh, it wasn't easy for sure, but I have never regretted those years and the opportunity to care for others that being a Nurse afforded to me.

I have had such marvelous adventures.  I spent six weeks one summer sailing the Bahamas with a friend on a 37 foot catamaran.  Wow! The experiences we had and the things we saw.  There were beautiful fish, spotted rays, sharks and baracuda! There were waterspouts that chased us at one point! At that point I was trying to decide whether it would be better to stay aboard or jump overboard.  I decided to stay aboard and we avoided the spout with a sharp left turn!

I have gone on many cruises, from the Caribbean to Alaska and am looking forward to a Mediterranean Cruise later this year. I look forward to sharing this next adventure with my husband of twenty-five years and two of my children and two granddaughters!  I just got back from Marakech, Morocco in December on a trip with my youngest son, and only a month before was in Banff, Canada with my daughter and two granddaughters.

I have been to Puerto Rico proper and  Vieques..so warm and lovely; most of the Caribbean Islands, Jamaica, Haiti, Dominican Republic, Costa Rica, Belize, Mexico, Cayman Islands, St. Maarten, St. Croix, St. Thomas, St. John and more in the lovely Caribbean.  I have visited Paris and London more than once as well as Italy, Switzerland, Monaco, Germany, Spain, Thailand, Shanghai China, and more.

I have had the opportunity to get to know Buddists, Muslims and cultures that I never dreamed existed.  I have met many, many wonderful people along the way.  It has taught me that people around the world all have the same basic needs and wants.  We want love and peace and the ability to raise our children without fear.  Whether it is in the rain forests of Belize, the jungles of Thailand or the Cities of London and Paris, I have seen kindness and generosity and love.

I've lived an adventurous life.  I have a Private Pilots license.  I have sailed the Bahamas with a friend on a catamaran TWICE!  I have opened and owned my own Restaurant.  I have worked as an RN in Home Health and Radiation Oncology and actually held many other jobs in the interim.  It has NOT been a boring life.  I have definitely LIVED.  From the tiny town in Maryland to Florida, Georgia and now Utah, I have managed to see much of our beautiful Country.  I have seen my four children grow into productive, independent adults.  I have 7 grandchildren and 3 great grandchildren who are growing up all too quickly.  I wish for them a world of love and kindness.

I have had many joys and sorrows, and as I reflect back on the past 70 years and all that I have experienced and learned, I find that sometimes the greatest growth is in those tough years.  I am looking forward to this time...the best time of my life with my husband and family.  I have been trule blessed and have truly lived!

Job Hunting in 2014

Things have really changed in the realm of job hunting since I first came on the market in the 60's!

Computers and technology have changed absolutely everything about job hunting.  Not many jobs are published in the newspaper anymore for one thing.  Then most of the jobs are actually posted with some company which refers out to another company or other companies.  Everything is done "on line."

I don't know about you feel about it, but interviewing on line is not particularly representative of who I am.  How can a computer tell what kind of personality I have.  Well, they think they can by giving you these weird "psychological" tests.  "What would your fellow employees say about your work ethic?" Do you think I'm going to say they think I stink?  Get real!  This stuff is crazy.  Then they ask you the same question five different ways.  Do you really think I am stupid enough to not be able to recognize this gimmick?  Who designs these creepy things anyway?

I have been jumping through hoops for weeks now answering ads on line.  Send a resume.  Fill out our application on line.  Take the on line test.  Wait...wait...wait.  It doesn't help that in spite of the fact that they are NOT allowed to discriminate because of age,  every single one of them asks for your date of birth (and the computer will not let you progress to the next question if you skip this one) or what year you graduated from high school or college! DUH!  There goes the resume in the garbage if you are over 50! aauuugggghhhh

I have always gotten my very best jobs by face to face meetings where someone referred me for a job because of my personality and skills.  The computer just doesn't give you the opportunity to demonstrate any of that.

I guess I'm saying all this to tell you that if you are a "senior" looking for a job (even if it's a WalMart greeter) you are going to have to be 1. Computer literate 2. Willing to put hundreds of applications in and 3. Expect people to start calling you three times a day asking if you want to further your education!

Are you kidding me? They sell your information to these places that robo call you about educational opportunities!  Aaauuugggh again!  I don't need an education! I have that! I need a freaking job!!!
Yep, I'm over fifty, but I'm not crippled, arthritic, senile or stupid!  I have an education and a ton of skills...so come on, give me a chance.

After so much of this, I finally do have an interview in person on Monday (after doing all the computer interview stuff first!).  It pays about half of what I got in my last job when I was younger, but I guess it is all I really need.  It is a little hard on the ego at this stage of life to step back and take a more menial job, but I understand there are a lot of us "Boomers" in that situation right now.

So, take a deep breath, hone up on your computer skills and think about those silly questions you will be answering...you can do it! I did.

PEACE, LOVE & JOY

With Age Comes Wisdom?

Beautiful garden there isn't it?  I love walking through the grass and smelling all the lovely fragrances that float up from this huge variety of flowers.

I think as you grow older you do learn to "stop and smell the roses" a little more frequently than when you are young.

As I spend time checking out blogs on the internet, I find that most are written by those twenty somethings and thirty somethings who are still raising children.  They are filled with "hints" on items to buy for babies, quick recipes for families and so on.  That's all good, but what about all of those Baby Boomers out there?  What is it that they want to read?  Do they read blogs?

Lately, I have found myself in the position of having to seek a job at 67 years of age.  Hmmm, shouldn't be a problem, should it? I mean I'm a retired RN, have owned my own restaurant, have worked as a Legal Secretary and Sold Real Estate in two states, I've even sold Auto Insurance for a prominent Insurance company.  Tons of experience!  Tons of skills! So what? I'm 67.

It seems that in spite of the fact there is a law against age discrimination, it is still a really big problem.  Every single application I have filled out has asked either my age, or when I graduated from High School.  Hmmmmmm..  doesn't that constitute age discrimination?  I have been told on some occasions that I am "over qualified."  What the heck does that mean?  It means that they consider me to "old" for whatever position I have applied for!

Now, I agree that some 67-year-old people DO have health issues, etc., but I DON'T.  I walk four miles at a rapid pace, I can lift things, and bend and stretch with the best of them.  I am NOT senile...give me a test, and let me show you!  I have a high IQ which has NOT diminished with age. I DON'T have children that I would need to stay home and care for when they are sick, or rush to school to pick them up.  I CAN work any and all hours without "family issues."  So WHY OH WHY are people who are over 60 no longer considered valuable or useful in this Country.  It is ridiculous!

The sad truth is that most of us Baby Boomers are finding that due to inflation and the high cost of living, we MUST go back to work in order to pay the bills and have insurance.  What ever happened to the idea that age brought wisdom.  Believe me, with all the experiences I have had in the last fifty years or so, I am worth a lot more than I was as an 18-year-old high school graduate or even after college.  I am MATURE not OLD!  I still want to lead an active, vibrant life.  I still have a lot to give, and am NOT ready to be put up on a shelf to collect dust.

I know that many, many Baby Boomers are in the same situation as I am right now.  We are being disenfranchised and pushed aside and relegated to being "Wal Mart greeters" even though we are college educated and still have a lot to offer.  What is it going to take to change this?  I wish I knew!

I've raised children, helped with grandchildren, worked two jobs at a time and have tons of experience and I want to be able to continue to lead a productive and active life for at least twenty or more years beyond this day!

Let me know if you have similar experiences, and let me know if you have ideas about how we can CHANGE the current trend of forcing older Americans out of the work force.

PEACE, LOVE & JOY

I Can't Wait!

I can't wait until I can go to school, is one of the first requests we make as small children. Then it goes something like this. I can't wait until High School; I can't wait until I graduate from High School. I can't wait until I am 21. I can't wait until I find the perfect mate and get married. I can't wait until we have children.
I can't wait until the children start school! Boy, I can't wait until these kids graduate from College, then we can....and so on!

How much of your life have you spent saying just "I can't wait"? Be honest now. Your can't wait for it moments may not have been exactly the same as those above, but I'll bet at least some of them hit the mark! Then, suddenly, you find you are sixty or more, and you begin thinking about just how fast those years have gone by. You have been married how many years now? Your children are how old now? Weren't you just 21 a couple of years ago?

Okay, the point I am trying to make is...quit wishing your life away! Enjoy today for today! Don't put off doing things until later, later may not get there. I have a "bucket list" of things I would like to have done, and I am working on it every day! Take time to enjoy each day for what it has to give. Just as rain replenishes the earth, new experiences and new people replenish the individual. You want to be young at 95? Then enjoy each day, get out there and walk, but don't just walk...take time to "smell the roses" and notice the birds singing and for pete's sake smile! Smile at everyone you meet. They may or may not smile back, but then again, you are spreading joy.

Lastly, be sure to reach out and love those around you. Be like a puppy dog and be thrilled each time our loved ones walk through the door, kiss them goodbye and tell them you love them every time they leave the house. It is great to plan for the future, but enjoy TODAY!!!

Respect For The Elderly

It has been a crazy couple of weeks here in the Kelly household. As of a week ago, we have a new member in our family. Lucille Kwiatkowski is 94 and 3/4 years old and a feisty and independent lady. Two weeks ago today, her roommate of the past twenty years announced that she was moving out and going to her daughter's home. Lucy K as she is known by many was frantic. Her worst fear in the world is going to a nursing home, and for the past year as she has watched her roommate's health decline, she has expressed this concern many times. The roommate and her daughters had been quite disrespectful to her, and she feared they might "put" her somewhere. You see, because Lucy had no close relatives, the roommates daughters had held her healthcare power of attorney and had been co-signators on her checking/savings accounts.

About 8 months ago Lucy came to me and asked me if I would be willing to take responsibility for her healthcare decisions and help her manage her finances and accounts, as she no longer trusted the daughters to do this. They had forbidden her to drive any more and were refusing to take her to doctors and stores when she needed to go. I agreed to do the same and told her that as long as I was alive and well she would never end up in a nursing home. You see, as a retired Home Health Care Registered Nurse, I had seen frequent abuse and disrespect of the elderly. I was frequently frustrated by by inability to help those whose families and friends starved, beat and stole from them!

After waiting several months and much discussion, Lucy and I went to a local attorney and had a Durable Power of Attorney, and Healthcare Directive drawn up. We also went to the bank and closed her accounts and opened two new ones, with only her name and mine on the accounts. We had a lot of small details to attend to including visiting the Funeral Director where she had prepaid for her final expenses, and sending doctors copies of the new healthcare directives. But, after a few months, all was settled. Lucy did not want to share this information with her roommate immediately because of her fear of repercussions.

Last week the information came out and Lucy's fears about how the roommate and her daughters would act were realized ... and it was terrible. They even tried to force her to change her bank accounts to their names by loading her up in a car in driving her to the bank. She did not change her mind. When I discovered what was happening, I had a discussion with both her roommate and Lucy. I also attempted to speak with the daughters, who were extremely aggressive and rude. I explained to the roommate that nothing had to change; I would still take she and Lucy to church on Sunday, to the doctor and to the hairdresser and store. I would still continue to make their meals as I had been doing for the past year. I hoped that this would keep things from coming to a boil!

The very next evening the roommate told Lucy that she was leaving, and she had already called the Landlord to tell him so. Lucy and my husband and I had a discussion, and we all agreed that the best solution would be for Lucy to move in here and we would care for her. She is a joy, and we love her. She will be well fed, and well cared for here. We moved all her bedroom furniture into the front Master Suite and she has her own private bath. We will be making a few minor adjustments, but she is extremely happy here.

Do you know people who are being neglected and/or abused by their family or neighbors and friends? Have you ever considered preparing an extra plate of food for an elderly neighbor? Have you considered visiting with an elderly neighbor to make sure they are not lonely or don't need an occasional trip to the store for groceries? You don't need to be a Nurse to do this. In most other countries in the world, the elderly are treated with dignity and respect. For some reason, in this Country, we are failing our elderly and do not value their wisdom. They are frequently pushed aside and forgotten. I believe there is a lot to be learned from their experience and wisdom.

Lucy has lived nearly 95 years, and I tease her daily about having at least another ten because there is a gentleman in our Church who is 104! She may be occasionally forgetful, and she doesn't move as quickly as someone half her age, but she is wonderfully insightful and kind and has a lot to offer! Reach out to those elderly persons around you whether they are family, friends or neighbors...the reward will be yours!